I guess it was just a matter of time. It was staring me in the eye, and at times, breathing down the side of my neck. The urge to spew words out like vomit on a keyboard, projectile waste all over the eyes of friends, strangers, and lurkers, all about. I resisted it, but here I go.
Maybe it’s because it’s Fall. It could be because I’m i the middle of some crazy
shit, unbelievable projects in school (truthfully, I mean in life), and out in the freelance working world. Or it could be because it’s just simply in the air, but for reasons undefined, I find myself unable to sleep. Again.
So the past month for me has been something like this: Wake up early, get stuck in traffic, go to school, do projects, lead GAD club meetings, make it to the uss nightmare, work on the ussn, find time to eat, catch up with online junk, back to sleep, back to school, work, school, work, nightmare, freelance makeup job, girlfriend time, football saturday, homework, freelance, bengals sunday, drink (or not), back to sleep, school, work, repeat, repeat, repeat, ignore evil text messages and voice mails from angry friends. ignore guilt for forgetting (insert name’s) birthday.
Where was I? Can’t sleep. New Thrice record is on my playlist. As is Mickey Avalon, Brand New, & Mars Volta. And Glassjaw. I can’t sit still. I can’t sleep.
My goals. MY GOALS. I need to stay focused on what I set out to do. Finish school, and… And? I never decided what was next, actually. But my hair is getting long, I’ve grown a beard, the weather’s getting cold, and I’ve found myself sleepless & unable to compromise. Or juggle everyone else’s plans. I’m now reaching out to complete strangers and asking their point of view. It’s funny, I don’t even trust my own intuitions anymore.
Jesus christ, Jesus Jesus Jesus. All I wanted to do was make a record. And travel all over and share my music, my words, my memories with whoever came to listen. All I wanted was to find that bliss, and brotherhood. And love. Somewhere Along The Way.
How did all of this happen? I guess what I really need is an oxygen tank.